Things I want for my Birthday

Saw I and II
Another X-box (I had to sell my original. I will get another one)
X-Men Comic Book Subscription
Haircut
A good time
Bills to be paid
Massage
World Peace (I loathe all this fighting and killing in the name of God)

I'm alright except that I think I strained a muscle in my neck while sleeping. It woke me up and hurt from then all. The only thing that has helped is heat. And staying absolutely still.

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you. Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

What Temperment Are You?

While I Am Under The Weather...

Please take care of yourselves. Enjoy the picture and if you are a lurker (long time or not) please leave a comment. I'm kinda curious as to who is looking up neuroticnonsense on blogger.

Now excuse me whilst I pray to the Porcelain god known as Ralph.

I should be back in a day or so.....

I got a weird comment on an old post...

Yes, it's weird and definitely indicates the writer is a lunatic.

I don't think it's written well, but I laughed my butt off. Then it made me sad to think that there really are deluded individuals like that in the world. I felt horrible that I am was able to laugh at the rants of someone who might lack a few cards in his deck. I always make an attempt to be a sensitive, caring human who is as non-judgemental as possible. (It doesn't work all of the time, but I do try to be a decent person) One of my few boyfriends thought he was the reincarnation of King Arthur. I had thought he was just messing around with me, but no. He was quite serious. He treated me very well, however, despite the fact I became convinced he was INSANE. (Not all insane people are inclined to violence.) Another boyfriend wanna-be tried to convince me that he could talk to fairies and spirits, that he could hear their voices in his head.

Women, if some date is telling you he/she hears voices in his head, that is what is known as a red flag. Run away. Far away.

Mental illness is pretty devastating and it is a disease that everyone should want to cure every bit as much as cancer or diabetes. I don't believe in pity, but I believe that more people should be sympathic to those that aren't all there. It's a shame there is such a social stigma attached to mental illness, or even to those who are simply neurotic.

Germ Warfare

I just saw War of the Worlds (the Tom Cruise one) and it got me to thinking. Our society is too germ phobic. We try too hard to make sure we don’t get the flu or cold and that our houses have as little germs as possible. Scrub, scrub, scrub, clean, clean, clean! People use antibacterial soap for everything, which only breeds a better germ. I frankly think it is used TOO much.

Heaven forbid that people get sick and have to take a day off of work to care of themselves or their kids. Getting ill (I’m talking minor ailments, not meningitis or having a really high fever) is healthy for children. It builds a good immune system for them when they are older.

The only places that should be so stringent on germ control are: hospitals, nursing homes and other miscellaneous medical facilities. Or homes that house ‘high risk’ people–people with immunity disorders and those people who aren’t exactly in the best of health. Other than that, I believe that people should just suck it up and ease up on ‘saving the world’ from germs.

Incidentally, the War of the Worlds was good eye candy and parts of it....were quite gruesome. I liked it, and the actors did a good job, but the plot was so-so. I recommend the movie but it isn’t exactly Oscar material.

Convert those heathens! 

You scored as Existentialism. Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

There are words used too often in our society’s lexicon. The overuse of these poor, defenseless words, or so I believe is, akin to verbal abuse.

Hero... Some people are ‘heros’ just for being in the Olympics. Gimme a break. They are not HEROS in my opinion. Heros actually do worthwhile things with their lives and people that exhibit true heroism do not seem to want to revel in it.

Diva (Unless it’s used in the derogatory sense like diva wanna be). It takes a long time and outstanding talent to be a diva. Diva came from the Latin word Divus, which means "Divine One

The phrase: I would kill for [fill in the blank]. There aren’t many things in the world worth killing for and brief satisfaction.. Well, brief satisfaction isn’t one of those valid reasons.

What words (or the abuse of) tick you off?

Junk Drawer Fridays...

I have a sneaking suspicion that my computer may go out. It’s making a weird jingling sound when I run certain applications. So...I’m doing this in part to make sure I do not lose ideas that may be worth exploring in the future.

It was either this or Advice Column Wednesday, folks. Hmmm.

Oh, and if you like the idea, feel free to use it. I really do not mind. Also, feel free to comment on any of the thoughts of the day. Just specify what day.


Feb 19th

Couldn't a self fulfilling prophecy be a good one? Why does it always seem to have a negative connotation?

Feb 20th

Reading 1984... Very Interesting.


Feb 22th

American Idol symbolizes everything that is wrong with America. Shiny, superficial, and plastic. I am referring to Ryan Seacrest, naturally.

Feb 24th

Four in the morning is too early to get up when I usually arise at 6. (Company has flex time which means I can show when I want to between the hours of 5:30 to 9:30 and ‘do my time’.) I have a Doctor’s appointment at three to go to.

I have to get up too early tomorrow. Blech.

Odds 'n' End.

Today....was a good day. Quick and painless. Though sometimes I do want a bit of drama at work to 'liven' things up. A wire-fu fight in the cafeteria would be fun to watch. Condiments flying wildly, napkins in the air like feathers....

Oh, I heard Rob Zombie's new song, and it's one of my guilty pleasures. I like all kinds of music, as most people that have imbibed deeply of my blog should know. (Careful, I'll get you drunk like 50 year old Scotch.) I just might have to buy the CD.

Ugh. I really don't like American Idol and it's all my co-workers can talk about. I believe that show kills brain cells with every second people watch it. Reality TV is pretty much 'disposal' television, taking space away from shows that actually MIGHT be worth watching. I don't like reality TV, I guess, unless it's a medical show. Then it piques my interest.

But I digress. American Idol is evil. Pure and simple. There is something unwholesome about Ryan Seacrest and Paula Abdul that I can't put my finger on....

Slow News Day

Good news, I don't have to worry about my crummy old stapler attacking me anymore. I got an electric stapler! Which looks like a black sperm whale rising majestically out of my blueish-gray desk, exposing the part that actually does the stapling--like shiny metal teeth. It looks hungry and its smiling at me, I just know it. Honestly, it does look like Moby Dick. Only black. And inanimate. And not actually a reproduction of a whale.

Fortunately, as a safety feature, fingers are too big to actually fit into the stapler, so I think I'm safe. For now.

Just don't call me Ishmael.

Bonus Post

Time is ephemeral
Fleeting at best
Slipping through fingers
That wrinkle with Age

Live life to the fullest
Smile as wisdom flows
Through your veins
The best is yet to come

Fretting about things not done
Is futile and self defeating
Take cheer in accomplishments
And learn from failures that hurt

--Written by R

I *Heart* Blogging

I have today off so nyah nyah nyah nyaaah to all of those of you who do have to work! :P

I really like blogging. I’ve been doing it for almost three years. Not that you could tell from the six months I’ve been on this one. I regret having to bid R’s Rants (my first blog) adieu. There were quite a few good posts and poetry on it that I wished I had saved. C’est la vie.

I don’t think I am ever going to run out of ideas or issues to blog about. I have tons of imagination (perhaps too much) and I think most people quit blogging (which is a shame as far as I’m concerned) because they get bored and begin to believe that there is nothing out there to discuss. Not me, pals. There is as many possibilities as there are grains of sand on a beach.

Tips for running a decent blog.

• Post as regularly as possible.
• Be honest, funny, and as true to yourself as you can.
• Be friendly to those that come to your site.
• Write for yourself. If you like what you write, chances are readers will too.
• Take some time off if you feel pressure to write. For me, writing never comes out well if I push it. Let your gentle readers know, just don’t disappear on them.

That’s what I’ve figured out, anyhow. Blogging is good for my soul and I believe I’ll be doing it for many more years to come! Even if I have to buy my own website

Current Affairs

This man's [Iran's President Ahmadinejad] words send a shiver of terror into my soul. It's my opinion that he wants to fight with someone, anyone that gets in his sight. I think he's a keg of dynamite just waiting to explode.

You know, I'd feel more sympathic toward the protest of the drawing of the Prophet in the Middle East (and beyond) if it weren't for the chaos caused by a simple cartoon rendering. I understand it's against their beliefs to portray the Prophet, and they have the right to protest peacefully, but it's gone way out of hand. First, it's a Danish cartoon, and somehow some of them have got it twisted in their minds that the blame for it is the United States's fault. ( I guess because we published it over here so that people could see what the controversy was about.)

I hope they calm down soon, but the fanatics seem to be caught up in a herd mentality. I stress that there is a difference between the fanatics and the ones who believe. I know enough not to lump every person of the same religion in one pot. People need to understand that different cultures have different ways of thinking, and I agree that it is *their* right to demand an apology and a promise to never show a picture of the Prophet again. It is not the right of certain radical groups to shoot at embassies or harass individuals that had nothing to do with the insult. In the end, all this violence just reflects badly upon Islam and its followers, right or wrong.

It is my firm belief that we (including religions) are all responsible for our own ways of perceiving an insult, and it is OUR responsibility with how we react to it.

For Spider Girl. Did you know that just to KNOW you is to fear you? 

Bad Comic Book Stereotypes

I like comic books err... graphic novels. Yeah, that's the ticket. I am a Marvel Girl, pretty much, but as I've said before, I'm getting into the gritty works of Frank Miller. If I had more cha-ching in my ba-nking, I'd see what the fuss is about Warren Ellis.

Gambit (or Gambitch as one of my friends would say) aka Remy LeBeau. Bad "accent." Well, I like Gambit, but to some people from Louisana, he is considered offensive, mostly because he seems to be a rather contrived character.


Banshee--If you can't see how blatantly stereotypical he is, then shame on you. Hot-headed and with a really thick accent with blond-reddish hair. Hmmm. Not all Irish are hot-headed or have thick accents. Reddish hair seems to be more common over in Ireland and Scotland, but one shouldn't assume. What's wrong with black or brown hair?There is such a thing as a Black Celt. Oh, I see. It's not as easy to know the character is from Ireland. I get it, you lazy sons of a gun....

Siryn--Banshee's daughter who had a drinking problem. Imagine that. An Irishwoman who drinks too much. I'm offended.

Rogue--I know. She's my favorite character of all time, but she IS a little on the stereotypical side with her sugary "accent" and her love for another Southerner. Gambit.

Wonder Woman--Paradise Island. No men in sight. Women who look they are of Greek descent. I *wonder* (take a break from reading to bust a gut laughing at my ingenious pun) what you are supposed to infer. Hmm. I guess they might as well named Paradise Island ... Isle of Lesbos II.

Batman--What's a poor orphaned rich boy supposed to do? Act the playboy by day and save Gotham at night. I'm not sure where the stereotype comes in. I just wanted an excuse to post this picture.

Sorry there was no Junk Drawer Friday, but I had taken the day off of posting to enjoy a friend's company. Enjoy my snarky sense of humor, though

Happy Half Naked Thursday (Not Work Safe!!)

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I had a good long sit down with myself and I think I'm maturing. Or at least getting wise about parting ways.

• Try not to have bitter recriminations against anyone.
• Acknowledge that it is ok to be sad or angry or alone--don't let anyone attempt to tell you to not feel a certain way. Your emotions and thoughts are the only possessions you truly have. They make you human.
• Let go (something I really have problem doing) and move on.
• Find a positive out of the mess. Try to learn what you did wrong, then make an effort not to do it again.
• End a friendship as politely as possible. Especially if mutual friends are involved. Be mature and maintain as much respect as you can, be the bigger person.
• Treat others' hearts as if they were your own: with care.
• Know that you can't go through life without hurting someone. Don't take joy in it, but get out of a situation that is not good for you.
  

When Bloggers Go Their Separate Ways...

Who gets their mutual links? My former blogroller has severed contact, for our own good, and I want to honor that person's wishes. For right now, I think completely avoiding that individual is necessary. (I'll be too tempted to read his blog.)

I'm actually feeling like it was the right decision to be made in what was a bad situation. I would go so far as to say I'm in a cautiously good mood. Monday--was horrible. I bawled. It hurts to be cut out of someone's on-line life. Who da thunk? Tuesday--depressed. (Duh) But today, I am actually ok. I'll be fine. Really.

I feel like my heart has been stomped on.

Have a good day.

I'm forcing myself to take a break for several days, to regroup and replenish, reading and relaxing. Maybe work on some fiction, but mostly to get my head back on straight.

Goodbye, Grant. Take care of yourself.

We (mostly him) thought it best to not be friends anymore. Which means no email, no comments and no reading each others' sites anymore. I'm going to miss him. A lot.

New E-mail Policy

I don't want to a) either bother you with sending you an email stating my new policy or b) give you any pressure to respond. Although I would like to hear from some of you, I realize that you may be busy. Or not want to talk to me. :P

So...this is it right here.

An email for an email. If I send one out, and do not get a response right away, I refuse to sweat it because I know my readers have lives. Hey, it's not your fault that I'm an insecure mess of a woman who is slightly paranoid and who clings to her e-friends until they think she's obsessed and they ignore her until they read on her blog that she shot herself.

Joking, folks.

House

One of the few new shows I like is House. It's about Dr. Gregory House who is a brillant physician but he is not a very nice person. His bedside manner is, well, he doesn't really have one. He tells the situation as he sees it. He's rude, smart, and not the typical sensitive doctor. He says some inappropiate things which makes me laugh my booty off.

A quote:

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.

Dr. Gregory House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.

In other words, he's an enjoyable character.

Corrected Post

I'm sorry glad that I had a crush on someone. It means I'm normal with normal feelings. A crush doesn't mean you're in luv with that person, it just means there is something about them that drives you wild. I like being drove wild. If you have two brain cells that cooperate, you can probably figure it out. It's happened before when I share too much of myself with others. Maybe I'm just an obsessive/stalker like chick. Maybe I simply want (too much) to believe that someone can love me for me, faults and all am just horny.

I'll talk more later. Must go to work.

You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed. You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light. You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two. Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets. Your fortune: Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward. You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination. And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end. You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

What Tarot Card Are You?

Junk Drawer Feb 10th

Feb 4th

I've seen comments on blogs such as "I found your blog to be inquistive." Ok, a blog is not alive so how can it be inquistive?I would say "I found your blog to be curiously entertaining," instead. Yes, I am fully cognizant that my grammar usage isn't 100 % perfect, but I think I'm pretty decent at it.

Feb 5th

I think it takes more personal fortitude to be positive than negative.

Feb 7th

One more month til my 31st birthday. I really am looking forward to it.

Feb 6th

I use 'sorry' as a defense mechanism, though I know I shouldn't. I say it before I realize it. It's a bad habit that I need to break.

Feb 8th

I hope a certain someone likes what I sent them. It was hard for me not to blab and ruin the surprise....

Sometimes an individual, in order to cope with rejection or the possibility of, uses it as an affirmation of who they think they are. (This sounds like a topic for further contemplation and research.)

Feb 9th

Grant, I hope you like your present. Have a good Valentine's Day.

From now on, I'm just going to blurt out what's on my mind.

Grant is *still* sexy, homicidial tendencies and all. Those kind of tendencies do not bother me at all. One of my best friends is a latent sociopath, no joke.

I hate my real mother. I truly do. I found her and I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't another slap in the face. She doesn't want me to contact her ever again and has refused to tell me what happened. She doesn't want me to be introduced to my other half siblings. Something tells me that she neglected to tell her family of the existence of a older daughter.

Do not tell me to be reasonable about this because I would dearly like to yell in her face and let her know how much I have been hurt.

This is for you.


Deep in my mind, I find myself pondering:
Why did Mother leave me, why didn't she love me?
I wonder if what she saw in my eyes scared her off?
But a part of me doesn't care now, I think she's a wh--e.
I don't give a f*ck if she gave life to me
It's hard knowing that I was a mistake
If I ever saw her, I'd spit in her face.
I hear she has a bunch of kids and how much she loves them
And I'm the one that she forgot. The one she left behind

Do me a favor for once in your life: Drop dead, bitch.

I honestly do not care anymore. It was an error in my judgement to even try to find her. So to y'all who were wondering why I just froze up a couple days ago...that's why.

Erotica (This may or may not be work/spouse safe)

Note to the prudish. This is dealing with the topic of sex. I want honest comments from those who want to comment. Be warned–this is a revealing, open post.

I started reading erotica to help allay my fears and answer questions about the functions of men and women in the act of love-making. Sex books (the technical kind) weren’t doing it for me. Text books don’t deal with the emotions and complications that sex brings up. (Pun away all you want in the comments) I wanted my curiosity about what goes on between the sexes to be satisfied in a safe way, without putting me in the hands of a man who doesn’t know his way around a woman. I don’t want to ‘fake it’, with a man or woman. Again. *Shudders* and not in the good way. I’ve never had ‘one’ in the way a woman should. A 30 year old woman who has never...you know... actually had ‘one’ with a real life partner is one of life’s minor tragedies.

I certainly am not the kind of person who sleeps with men indiscriminately. And yeah, I know Tab A tends to venture into the dangerous enemy territory of Slot B, and much fun is had by all. Yadda, yadda, yadda and all that jazz. Cannons go off and fireworks light up in her eyes....Ok. I’ve had it with the sex euphemisms. You can go ahead and make some if you want.

My feelings about erotic literature (writing and reading) is that it can be helpful for women curious about sex, but some of it ....Well, I cannot judge other people’s kinks because I just don’t understand the appeal. Right or wrong, it’s none of my business. Yet another disadvantage of erotica is that I guess that written sex is far from the reality of genuine sex and it may give a false impression of what intimacy is.

I don’t know but I’ve been told, that sex in general gets rather old.

****Post Script– Ugh. I wanted to give myself several days off to contemplate and gather up my scattered thought. But this popped out. I am trying to learn not to edit myself and just let my ideas out.****

Link is in the title

Based on your drawing and the 10 answers you gave this is a summary of your personality:

You are sensitive and indecisive at times. You are a freedom lover and a strong person. You love your house and family.

You are a gifted artist as well. Once you have a problem, you need a friend with you. Your life is always full of changes. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. Your life is always full of changes.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be. You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You don't think much about yourself.

Gone Fishing.

I have issues to take care of, none of which are blog related.

I just wanted to say something (ok, maybe a few things) before I speed off to work with my Christian music thumping aunt who looks over at me on occasion to see if I'm listening.

1. If someone has your website addy, it does no good to hide it.
2. Some of my thoughts scare me. I'm not all sugar and spice, I have cayenne in me also.
3. It seems that all my ideas want to come out of the portal of my brain, which only clogs the metaphorical door up.
4. I am afraid of intimacy and I don't know how to get over that.

Did I come off as whiny? Hm. Oh well, moving on. I was attempting to vent my growing frustration with my neurosis and my inability(for right now) to reach beyond myself to be a normal person.

I was not 'fishing' for comments or laughs. Acknowledgment IS nice, but I stress again that it isn't the end all and be all of my blogging experience. I was doing this for a year or two before I met most of you. Look, people have LIVES beyond the internet and I do not expect to be coddled when you are busy. Or when you aren't busy either. I care enough about some of you to want you to be happy and as healthy as you can be.

This blog is all about self-therapy. It's all about my thoughts, baby, and my life. Now, gimme some sugar.

Look, I think there is a part of me that wants to be a people-I-like-pleaser. (Everyone else can go take a dive wearing cement shoes.) I know WHY. I do care too much of what others think about me, and if you know me, you'll understand why. There's one of my biggest problems, folks.

I refuse to be depressed the rest of the weekend. I'm declaring myself free from all worries and cares and desires to jump on the first well built guyI see....Never mind!

Moving right on along... I wasn't sad or depressed when I wrote the previous post. I was moved to write it.

I've come along way. Still have far to go to becoming a fully functioning member of so-ci-ety. But if any of you have helpful tips on maybe loosing my death hold on my social anxiety over the internet, I'd be glad to listen.

I'm sitting here, staring at my monitor, with a SMALL glass of rum in my hand, when it occured to me that I send out crap e-mail that sounds so informal and uncaring. (To me.) I feel as if I have so much to say, but I hate that I get finger tied around blogpals that I like. As friends, naturally.

All I really want is to let people see me 'shine' and appreciate my company. I want to make people laugh and leave them in a better mood than when I first talked to them. I would much rather give to someone than receive because that way I have more control and so I will not depend on anyone. A healthy person knows how to do both.

I despise feeling desperate, like the world is closing around me and there is no way to get out. I fight myself every day. I fight to trust someone a little more. I fight to expose who I am to certain people even with the suspicion if I am truly myself, they'll stop being my blogpal. (And it's more than just one person I'm thinking of) I fight to step out into LIFE just a little bit more. I fight to believe that I am beautiful, radiant and worth more than those shallow people that think only size 6's have any sort of value. I fight hard to keep my sense of self and my strength. I fight myself and I am my own worse enemy. I fight what seeds of malcontent have been planted in my head when I was young.

There is so much I have to say. There is so much passion in my soul that I do not properly know how to express. There is so much I want to do and share. I want experiences that I can look back on when I'm eighty and smile, knowing that I was well and truly loved in my younger days. I want the gentle touch on my cheek given to me by someone who gives a damn about me. His touch would be worth more than gold, more than diamonds. I want to share even my most silly of thoughts with him to make him laugh. I want to kiss his smile and make it mine.

I want someone to care enough to see what's behind the walls to what I guard so fiercely. I gave my readers a glimpse tonight. Now it's up to you what you do with what I let you see.

Junk Drawer Friday

It's something new I'm going to try. Any little odd bit of thought or idea I have that doesn't exactly fit into a post, it is going into the junk drawer 'file' for me to post on Friday. Why? So that I don't lose any potential topic that would be better discussed when I've had time to digest it throughly.

In other words, it's a way for me to organize and collect my thoughts.

We all have a junk drawer in our house, where we store misfit objects that have no other place to go. It is my hope that I can teach myself to be more concise and hone my writing skills.

You Say "Don't You Dare Do It.", I say "I'm Gonna Do It."

I am a contrary person by nature, so reverse psychology works pretty well on me. Unless I get told something by the folks, in which case I do nothing one way or the other as long as it's personal advice and not really important.

Passive resistance is a great way to irritate your loved ones. The more you ignore your not so loved ones, the more desperate they'll be to get your attention, which means even desperater (yes, I made that up) measures.

Anyhow, I find that proving someone or some idea wrong is a great motivator for me. Perhaps I should find a healthier (or at least more mature) method of getting my ass up and accomplishing something. Let me think about it for awhile.

[EDIT] On a completely unrelated note, I'm looking for a Goldie action figure collectible. I have tried looking on Ebay and Amazon, but to no avail. I don't ask for much, but I'd like to see if I can get the figure in time for Valentine's. I simply want to know where I can find it. I have Gail, Shelley, Non-Prison Marv, Bar-be-que Marv, and Hartigan.

Also, does anyone know how to do a strikeout? Thanx Grant.

[should be in bed but I cant sleep even though I have to get up in six hours my mind won't shut off should be in bed but I cant sleep....]

Love is in the air

...so grab a BFG (big frickin' gun) and shoot it outta the sky.

Long Distance Dedication

To Me From Me: Grey Street by Dave Matthews Band. I don't feel this desperate often, but I do on occasion. To all those lonely people out there, I hope you don't feel it as deep as I do.

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street
She thinks, "Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can't get out of this place"

There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears it doesn't listen
There's still a hope in her it might
She says, "I pray
But they fall on deaf ears,
Am I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place"

There's a loneliness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

There's a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It'd take the work out of the courage
But she says, "Please
There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street and the end of the world"

There's an emptiness inside her
And she'd do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart

To grey

To me from me (again) but more on a day-to-day basis:

Basket Case by Green Day.

To Mom and Dad: Down with the Sickness by Disturbed. (Note-I would never hurt them, but I just want them to leave me alone.)

To Humanity: People are People by Depeche Mode.

How I think my love life will turn out: Whiskey Lullaby (it is a bluegrass song) by Brad Paisley/Alison Krauss.

To the World: Mad World by Tears for Fears.

To My Stupid Self-Esteem: Fat by Weird Al

To all the Jerks I dislike: Head Like a Hole by NIN.

To Someone who doesn't see that I like them: Hung Up as performed by Madonna.