I've been wondering whether or not I should talk about one of my (former) e-friends. Not maliciously or anything. Just need to get it out.

About my friend...

We first started writing and e-mailing about 2 and a half years ago. We clicked immediately. Then his wife died. From what he told me, he came home to find her dead in their office. Of what, he didn't say and I refused to even ask. He didn't take any time off from work, from what he told me and I see no reason to doubt it.

We honestly had fun together and the writing helped keep his mind off what happened, I'm sure. He often said I seemed to be similiar to his wife in that I have a deep desire to help people, like she did. I told him my troubles and about some terrible dreams and he took the time to tell me what I was feeling was normal. And that I wasn't going crazy. I unburdened everything that was bothering me, because he said it was ok to do so.

Then he disappeared. Just like that. Yeah, he came back and we emailed and wrote almost as if he'd never gone.

He disappeared again over two months ago. I know he's not coming back, but I really miss him. It hurts sometimes. A LOT. Mostly because I do not know what happened to him. Maybe I even developed some feelings for him, which I definitely feel guilty about. 2 and a half years....you're bound to have some sort of opinion about a person. Right?

If I'm reticent to write or open up.....please understand that I don't want to be hurt again. Not by myself, at least. I thought I would feel better getting this out, but I actually feel worse.

EDIT: Now I also feel like I could kick him where it counts for his .. Houdini act.