<-------I really wanted to find someone like this under my X-mas tree, but I guess it wasn't to be. Finally, I realize there isn't a Santa Claus. *Sniff, sniff*

Now that I've alienated my heterosexual male readers...

Ok. I must admit I've been slacking off in the working out department since Thanksgiving. Good news is that I didn't gain any weight over X-mas, but I didn't lose any either. At least I'm down twenty pounds from 270. Yes, I weighed that much and I felt horrible about myself and that I was unlovable because of my flubber. I'm not in great shape even now, but at least I don't feel as burdened down.

So...Monday, it's back to the gym. I'm not exercising to impress, I'm exercising so that I will not kill myself when I'm on vacation.

I have a few fears though. I know skin doesn't bounce back after weight loss. I'm scared that I'll be voluptious, but that my skin will hang in folds. Can anyone say ewww? I've heard women say they'd rather be fat than look at their naked selves. I don't want to see myself as a deflated, sad-looking used up balloon.

I don't want to *slowly* kill myself with food, either, which I know I had been doing for so many years.