Sometimes events happen that make you question your mortality and what you leave behind for those you love. Me? I'll disappear gracefully, slowly to be forgotten by the world.

I can't go into the specifics of what happened today because it took place at work. But the people I trust most (online) know. But if you read on, you'll get the gist of it.

What do I want to happen when I die?

A party. Lots of music, lots of drinks. I would want people to party the way I never really could.

Don't put me in the ground. Cremate me and scatter the ashes so that I could be free in the way I never was in life.

But in the meantime, maybe I'll do what I want for a change. Kiss someone I really want to kiss. Share my mind and life with more people. Finish shucking off the chains of my sordid past and be a woman that inspires instead of depresses.